Title: I Don't Want to Talk About It Pdf Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
Author: Terrence Real
Published Date: 1998-03-02
Page: 383
When Terrence Real was studying to be a therapist, he accepted the notion that women suffered depression at rates several times that of men. Now he believes that conventional wisdom is wrong, that there has been a great cultural cover-up of depression in men. Real is convinced of the existence of a mental illness that is passed from fathers to sons in the form of rage, workaholism, distanced relationships from loved ones, and self-destructive behaviors ranging from stupid choices at work and in love to drug and alcohol abuse. Men reading I Don't Want to Talk About It will probably recognize themselves in every chapter, while women will recognize their partners--and, of course, both sexes will see their fathers in a new light. Richard Higgins The Boston Globe An important book about men and depression that is uplifting...Men will recognize the other men found here: laconic bullet-biters, 'rage-aholics,' emotional runaways, and badly fathered sons turned into disconnected dads who spill their emotional truths onto the page.Michael Kimmel San Francisco Chronicle Book Review Extraordinary...brings to light a hidden history of male depression...A powerful book.Pamela Warrick Los Angeles Times The most provocative in a flood of new books on depression...The only volume that speaks exclusively to and about depressed men.
Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men—that men hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigma of depression’s “un-manliness.” Problems that we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage—are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children.
This groundbreaking book is the “pathway out of darkness” that these men and their families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixes penetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his own experiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and the father of two young sons.
High Recommendations This is a very good book if you wish to understand your male depression and the things you do to deal with it. It has answered many questions for me and shed new light on why I feel the way I do and do the things I do. Although it is written specifically for men (according to the author, more men are prone to depression as adults because men inevitably encounter major trauma during childhood which they do not deal with because they are taught not to talk about it, not to cry, and to be "strong.") But, this book can be applied to anyone who has not dealt with childhood trauma for whatever reason...male or female. I recommend this book for woman, because it will help you to understand your husband or boyfriend and actually be able to help him understand himself and recover. Who knows...it may also help you to understand yourself.A must read I am currently reading this book and I wish I had read it years ago. This is a MUST READ for men or women that are married to men that they suspect might have struggles with depression, anger, addiction etc. This is a life changer for me. If you really love someone, you help them face their issues; you don't enable. If you are even considering this book, you probably really need it. I wish I had heard of it years earlier.Was your childhood family messed up? In terms of understanding covert depression, Terry is spot on. For any men raised in a difficult home this book is a treasure map for finding the reward of healing. Terry is a tad political and ventures down some paths, a little too far, to make a point but his insight and diagnosis are on point.If western medicine is on top of the male depression issue than why do men exceed women in suicide nearly 4 to 1? Why are there so many psychotic meds available from your doctor? I'd suggest there are many misdiagnosed men who need to address prior trauma and don't have a clue about it.I've suggested this book to many men and especially any counselor or pastor who works with men.
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